Making a Home

I spotted this image and caption on Pinterest. My first thought was ‘this house has been neglected for way too long” then I saw the view through those windows and my heart ached for this poor house. From the inside looking out this house is just a structure with a great view, from the outside looking towards this house it is most-likely a blight on the otherwise lovely landscape begging someone to give it a life and soul again.

To bring about that transformation from an empty shell of a building to a  home the necessity of comforts must be added to the spaces we use.  It doesn’t matter which decorating style you feel most comfortable in, it’s the little touches that bring it back to life.

Texture and personality are key no matter what your style. I prefer a minimalist feel with lots of open space and little to no clutter but without texture or live plants my home would be only a house I inhabited.

“Home is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see is what is not there any more.”

Robin Hobb, Fool’s Fate

Kitchens used to be the hub of the home. This room served as the gathering place of both family and guests.  With the introduction of islands that include seating and open floor plans people are returning to the kitchen to gather. If you’ve ever visited a home where the kitchen is stuck in the back of the house or meals aren’t prepared at home you will immediately notice a lack of soul in this room.

It doesn’t take a lot of money or months of shopping furniture stores to pull a room together that speaks to you.

A house is  just a structure but a home, well a home exists only when people care for them and in return the house shelters the families inside it.  A home and its inhabitants have a symbiotic relationship. The house gives shelter and comfort while those inhaibiting within its walls care for the maintenance needs of the house allowing her to age beautifully. Homes refresh, comfort, and make one happy to come ‘home’. We miss our homes when we are gone and breathe a sigh of relief when we return.

I do hope someone has restored the house above. I can picture a simple window seat where the family can look out at that beautiful view and feel comforted in knowing they are home.

If you go anywhere, even paradise, you will miss your home. Malala Yousafzai

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38 thoughts on “Making a Home

  1. I love this, Lois. There is truly more to a home than just the structure. I can feel the energy in our home (that’s well lived in, for sure). There is a peace and harmony that resides within and a love that abounds my greatest expectations sometimes. My only wish is that I had more desire, like you do, to fix her up. I putts around the yard and do the necessary cleaning (I sometimes push that to the limit), but I know there is so much more that I could do.

    Just don’t have the ambition — I’m hoping I’ll get there in time. For now, I’m completely happy and content like they say, “Freedom is not getting what you want, but wanting what you get.” (from Neale Donald Walsch’s “Conversations with God – Book 4 – Awaken the Species”). I definitely have freedom and believe it’s what I want. The other stuff is just icing on the cake.

    Love and hugs, my friend. Probably what that old house is yearning for is some life and people to come live in it . . . and, a little splash of water, hammer and boards, and coat of paint wouldn’t hurt either. 🙂

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    1. I’m sure your house is wonderfully expressive in it’s soul after the years you have spent there raising your family and doesn’t need much more than your presence at this point.

      Each house has an energy, unique to itself. It’s when we match the energy of the house to our personality that the magic happens.

      I hope you are having nice weather finally and can enjoy being outside and building back your strength.

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      1. It is, Lois. Definitely has character and expressive with our energy and love. It’s been a good home and strong weathering all the storms with the test of time.

        Just like us it has aged and in need of repair in some places. But, time has been good to it. Would you believe we still have the original orange shag carpeting. Now, if that isn’t telling time and dating — don’t know what else to say (haha).

        It’s all good. You can’t take none of it with you, for sure. Love and hugs, my friend. 🙂

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        1. Pat, I have always wondered what it must feel like to live for decades in the same home. Even as a child we moved a lot and that became what I was used to. Staying put for long periods gets me antsy. That said I can see how your home would reflect your love and energy over that period of time. I do think it’s time to let the orange shag go. 🙂

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          1. Haha — I know, Lois, time to let the orange shag go (I think it left a long time ago). That and many other things are well overdue for a face lift (including me :-)). But, face lifts cost $ and we’re taking care of business as needed, which I guess is working for us.

            I’m happy with what we’ve been blessed with and is what I’ve always wanted . . . a home where I feel loved and safe with a loving partner. I guess it does come with time, that feeling of home. I don’t know — 35 years in this house is a long time compared to how long people live in their homes today.

            I feel the energy of the girls when they were little and our grandsons along with the wildlife and all the animals we’ve had — dogs, cats and horses.

            It’s priceless in memories — and we’ll get around to the other stuff in due time. I hope. Hugs and love, my friend, from Pat (as I sign off on my posts) at this ‘ol kitchen table. 🙂

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          2. You are right facelifts do cost money, unless you have pristine wood floors under that shag. Who knows it might come back in style soon. 🙂

            I never lived in one place long as a child but it was my grandparents home, one they owned for nearly 40 years that had a special quality and felt like home to us.

            Hold on to those memories and don’t worry about the rest. Are you still considering moving? It would be so hard to leave the home you built all those wonderful memories.

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          3. Not sure what’s under the shag, Lois. Though, in some places where it’s gotten frayed and through the pad you can almost see the floor. We keep a nice Indian rug over that covers most of those places.

            Another few years and we’ll be coming up on 40 years. I guess just like being married 50 years living in a home long is almost as much unheard of. But, the time does capture a special sense of home and a love quality to it. I love it — so many memories, like you said. Maybe, it’s just the pure stubbornness of sticking things out that we’ve been here so long. I don’t know.

            Not considering moving again at this time. Our daughter and family are planning another move from So. Carolina to Georgia. They’re still trying to get settled and figure it out. I know how that goes. Leaving this home would be hard . . . would have to be a life changing event for us to move or . . . just plain ol’ getting old. Love you, my friend, and take care. ❤️

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          4. It’s a good thing you didn’t up and move to be closer to your daughter now that she’s moving again.

            Using a nice area rug is the best way to prolong the life of old carpets, it’s what past generations did rather than tearing up and getting rid of things as often as we tend to do today.

            I think you have made quite a life where you are and unless you can’t stay you should stay right where you are, where you have formed bonds with the people around you and the property, and yes the house you love.

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          5. For sure, Lois. But, they’re young and have plenty of time to figure out where they want to plant themselves. I miss them but it’s much easier to stay in touch these days than it used to be.

            Area rugs are great, Lois, and this Indian rug looks lovely serving a dual purpose. I guess we have more of past generations in us than I realized. But, you see a new trend these days where there are more, like you, repurposing things rather than throwing them out.

            We do have quite a life here and I forget it sometimes, when I get caught up in the ‘should-do’s’. Hubby and I were reminiscing last night of the many memories we have of the girls growing up here and the grandsons. It’s truly priceless and warms my heart that we were able to provide a place for that.

            Hopefully, as time passes and they remember long after we’re gone it will warm their hearts, too. Love and hugs — thank you, Lois.

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          6. I was always moving around trying to find my “home” when I was younger. I probably would have continued to move if it weren’t for my children. I had to force myself to stay in one place for them to have stability and be able to form lasting friendships. After years of fighting the urge to move I am now content to stay put. Your daughter will figure it out too.

            My grandparents stayed put and their home was our touchstone. My only regret is that I don’t have that same history in one place to offer my grandchildren. This place will have to be enough for them to make their memories.

            I love area rugs over wall to wall carpeting but don’t have any in my home because the wheelchair makes such a mess of them.

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          7. I never really knew what that was like moving around. Funny, I guess that’s why I’ve always been itching to travel.

            But, I like how you put it, Lois, a touchstone. I guess that what you could call our home. Just today, our daughter in Carolina was remembering, while watching the Kentucky Derby, growing up here at home. She remembered the horses we had and the memories of what it was like with them and their energy and their smell and leather and hay.

            She said she loved her childhood and it always makes her feel good. She said she knew we never had the money to give them both things and activities. So, we gave them activities and is so glad we did because those memories will always be with her.

            Guess this ‘ol house has been more than a house not only to them but for us as well. Suppose it’s their touchstone for now until they find one of their own for the boys.

            Home is where the love is, Lois, like with you and your grandchildren. No doubt, as long as they have you there with them, that will always be enough. Love and hugs, Lois. ❤️

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          8. I’ve read studies that show children who grow up in one home, specifically one that is owned by the family, they do better in school, have stronger bonds with friends and get in trouble less.

            I’ve done well moving around because I am a loner at heart, but my youngest child would have suffered tremendously had I moved around with him.

            It’s not about the money we have, how much we can give our children, it’s how much time and love we give to them and if we listen to them when they need us that matters.

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          9. I agree, Lois. Each situation is different, we’re different and so are our children. It’s being sensitive to what’s going on around us and with each other and respond to that. You’re right, listening is key and being there for them is important.

            Thank you, Lois, and wishing you a blessed and happy Mother’s Day. xxoo

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  2. Glad I found you again. Yes, a house is not necessarily a home. It’s just me in this space and it’s more of a workshop than anything else. I don’t get a lot of visitors so I want it to be functional for my needs. You have made yours perfect for you. That house is very happy you found it and loved it. It works for you and your family. Hugs.

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    1. I should have known the switch wouldn’t have been smooth, nothing is for me when dealing with technology. 😦

      I gravitate to the worst homes. I see nice houses and disregard them looking for the one that cares about or have given up on. My kids always remind me of the movie Money Pit with Tom Hanks to point out some houses aren’t worth the money to save them. Luckily, while this house had more problems than we first knew about, it wasn’t a lost cause.

      I don’t have company every day but when I do this house is a perfect fit. This weekend I’ll have a full house. My son will be bringing his partner, daughter, their dog and even new ducklings that just hatched. I also said I’d take the two littlest ones for the night! Come Monday I will want only to rest.

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      1. I saw the money pit. 🙂 It could have been done better. I like a good fixer myself. This one was. I look for good bones in need of a new outfit. If I had the company you are going to have, I’d sleep for a week after. Don’t have the stamina anymore. 🙂

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        1. I agree it could have been done better but it is still a good reminder to me when I see some really bad houses and start dreaming of fixing them up, although I think my days of working on houses are coming to an end, it’s just too hard to do in my current situation.

          My house was similar to yours. It was solid but needed a cosmetic uplift, or so I thought at the time. 😦

          After everyone left Sunday afternoon I crawled in bed and slept for a couple of hours and slept in the following morning. Starting to feel like myself again today.

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          1. At my age, I’m starting to need a couple of naps a day. 😦 Especially if I have a social day. It exhausts me. Going to try and work outside today. Going up to 80. Glad you survived the week.

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          2. I find myself getting tired in the middle of the day often but less so when I can be outside. Lack of fresh air I think is my culprit, at least that’s what I tell myself.

            Won’t be doing any work outside today. It’s downright cold. It’s still hovering in the high 40s. Wish I could trade places with you for today. 🙂

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          3. It was 83 today! 81 tomorrow then back to the high 50’s and 60’s. One summer day and my fingers hurt from weeding. Need more time to get it all done before the next rain on Friday. I wish you warm.

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          4. It hit 51 today finally out of the 40s. We’ve had rain off and on all day today and more expected for the next three days. My poor yard is drenched and I’m losing the battle on the weeds. I looked out to the one corner of my yard and remarked I had a field of dandelions not a yard. Oh well, the rain will end one day and then I’ll get to them. Gives me something to keep busy during the warm days. 😦

            Enjoy that heat for me.

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  3. Lovely post Lois… Yes its all those little touches that make the house a home.. And you have a wonderful touch Lois..
    I have now saved you into my browsers book mark bar Lois so I will not lose you again.. 🙂
    Hugs my friend and have a wonderful Beltane .. 🙂

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    1. Thank you, Sue. When I asked about changing the web address I was told my followers would continue to receive new posts as if nothing had changed. Other than some tweaking of some of my older posts and such I won’t be making any other changes here so this address is it for me.

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  4. It’s interesting to think about what it is that really does make a house a home. Our new home in South Carolina is beautiful, with many of the features that I’ve always wanted, including wood floors, wide white woodwork, lots of big Windows, etc, yet it doesn’t have that “home” feel yet that I associate with my house in Minnesota. I’m still figuring out why, but I think it has to do with the lack of memories here, the lack of association with my children.
    The house is the photo has a very lived-in look and I hope someone sees its possibilities soon and brings it back to life.

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    1. I can only imagine how much love was shared in your home in Minnesota. How wonderful that your current home has all the things you wanted for so long. I wonder if your new home doesn’t have the feel you are looking for because too much is new. I recall you recently purchased a sofa for one, I know for me if I bring a new piece of furniture into my home it doesn’t fit until it starts to show signs of use.

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    1. Sarah, that’s exactly what I thought. I always find myself looking for the ugly duckling, the places that could use a bit of love, and wanting to take on the challenge. So of course that picture haunted me.

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